Beyonce Releases Surprise Album, Blows Our Minds

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Last night, shortly after midnight, Beyoncè released a full album including 14 brand new tracks and 17 accompanying videos, totally without warning, just in time for Christmas and world domination.

Let that sink in.

“This isn’t just any album, either — it’s a whole new way of presenting a record that calls back to the LP format of yesteryear.”

This isn’t just any album, either — it’s a whole new way of presenting a record that calls back to the LP format of yesteryear. There are no singles, there have been no previews, and the songs that Beyoncè released earlier this year are not even on the album. Entitled simply Beyoncè, this is a “visual album,” available exclusively on iTunes, in its entirety . The record features appearances from Knowles’ husband Jay-Z, Drake, Frank Ocean, and even baby Blue Ivy Carter.

The album itself, even apart from the genius way it was released, is pretty brilliant — Beyoncè is really expanding her style here, producing 14 tracks that are all wildly different, not only from one another, but also from anything she’s ever made before. Of course, all the classic Queen B elements are here — creamy, soaring vocals, sassy-lady-power lyrics, catchy hooks, and massive confidence — but Beyoncè is also bold, risky, and interesting, almost Yeezus-like on some tracks in its frankness of content, experimental instrumentation, and ballsy content (see the X-rated “Blow,” raw “Drunk in Love,” super-scary “Haunted”)… although it’s much, much prettier, and consummately professional. It’s not all experimentation, though — elements of classic soul, R&B, and sugar-sweet pop still permeate the record, giving Beyoncè something for everyone. Tracks like “Rocket” and “Pretty Hurts” have universal appeal.

The videos, by the way, are all outrageously sexy, fun, and star-studded. From Solange on a Big Wheel in a roller rink to explosions in the desert to the simple glory of B and hubby Jay Z dancing happily (and sexily) on a moonlit beach in black and white, all of the videos accompanying Beyoncè exhibit the same professionalism, clarity of vision, and sense of fun that we’ve come to expect from every Beyoncè video over the years.

This album is a major coup for Ms. Carter, and will doubtlessly be a ridiculous success in the coming weeks. We are, frankly, stunned, and would like to offer a hearty congratulations to the Queen, who has once again proved that class, confidence, and talent prevail. Like she says on “Rocket” herself, some rock hard… B rocks steady. Beyoncè bless us, every one!

Well done, B.