Five years is a strange increment of time if you really think about it.

I mean, clinic vialis 40mg five year reunions are far too soon considering 90% of my high school peers are in the same “dangling in the void of post-grad aimlessness” period as I’m in and there’s little chance anyone’s gotten real fat or weird yet. At the same time, buy who was I five years ago? I was a very sad college freshman, malady consuming as much Nick Drake-informed sad boi folk as I could while wearing the same cardigan daily. Also, I think I bought a mandolin around this point, so it’s a divine miracle I wasn’t pushed into a pit of flames and gravel for my Mumford-approved sins.

Looking at a band like You Can Be A Wesley though, I can’t tell if five years has had considerable effect or not. Yes, they were guitar worshippers of the DIY scene and were one of Allston Pudding’s unanimously adored locals in our newborn stage, but signs of age are as subtle as a copy of the Boston Phoenix popping up in their “Talking Science” video. With a chorus primarily made up of sincerely delivered ‘doot doots’, their poppier intentions weren’t masked under fuzzy guitars or a slacker rock veneer like what dominates our scene currently. That’s not a slight to the bands of now; it was just a different, but not so distant time.

My dad and I discussed “Science” and You Can Be A Wesley this week, additionally meditating on five years of Allston Pudding, age, and my fat childhood.

#13 – “Talking Science” by You Can Be A Wesley

Dad: Okay, first of all, you said this band is no longer in existence?

Tim: Yep. In honor of Allston Pudding being a thing for five years, I asked some of the editors about essential Boston bands that were active when we started, but are no longer together. A lot of names were thrown out, but You Can Be A Wesley was a pretty popular one among everyone’s lists.

Dad: And what is that, a Wesley? What is being a Wesley mean?

Tim: That is a good question to which I have no answer. They were before my time here in Allston, so I guess that’ll remain a mystery.

D: I went on Google for the name’s meaning and lyrics, but could hardly find anything on them. That being said, I think the song was good. It had a great melody and you know how I feel about melody. Good guitar riff. I love the drum beat. I was trying to think what this sounds like and, at first, I thought it’s like U2, but not quite like U2. I don’t know if you noticed, but the guys in the back are doing harmonies. Like, you wouldn’t get that sophisticated in a garage band.

T: [laughs] Yeah, I guess you got me there.

D: But yeah, I would definitely categorize this as a toe-tapping song.

T: Okay, where on your scale does “toe-tapper” rank? Somewhere between “bar song” and “driving on the beach song”?

D: Hmm, that’s a good question. Toe-tappers could be a universal thing like saying “cheers”; it’s varied what makes a toe-tapper. It’s gotta be a feel-good song for sure. You can listen to it in the car or in the background, but it has to be instinctive that you get into it.

T: I agree; it can be in multiple settings. I know you’re itching to talk about the video, so what’s your comment?

D: You want my comment? First of all, wtf was up with the creature?

T: [laughs] Oh my god, when did you pick up “wtf”?

D: I dunno, but that thing was the most raggedy-looking… that’s like some leftover toy from twenty years ago you find at a yard sale. I couldn’t understand it; it was able to kill three people just by looking at them, but then it looked at the bartender and all he did was cut his arm off! What’s up with that? And if it could kill the other three people, how come he couldn’t kill the band when it looked at them?

T:  Well, I think the band would have to last until the end because it’s, like, their song. Maybe they had the power of harmonies behind them?

D: Yeah, but at the end, they’re wrestling the creature and one guy is just making out and smiling with it. It was kinda perverted. Also, it has to be a pretty stupid creature because it walks right by the band and all they’re doing is hiding behind copies of the Phoenix! And there was an adult magazine too!

T: I noticed that! It’s wild that the video’s already showing a bit of age too since the Phoenix is no more.

D: It’s not?! I didn’t know that.

T: Yep, I think it stopped in 2013. The neighborhoods still look the same; they went running up a road where we went Allston Christmas hunting, but a lot’s changed. Do you think five years is a lot of time as a 50-something year old?

D: Yeah, because in five years, I’ll be close to 60. Holy cow.

T: Jeez, I’ll be almost 30.

D: Wow. Ouch.

T: Okay, let’s not talk about that anymore. How would you describe me as a five year old? Try to keep it to three words… and go easy on me.

D: [Laughs] You at five? The picture you use for the blog is actually you around five years old, so I guess you were… uh, fat. Funny. Hold on, lemme think of another…

T: You’re already having too much fun with this, but continue.

D: Hmm… if it had to be an “f-word”, I’d say fat, funny, and freaky. No, wait, I’ll swap the last one and go with fun. Fat, funny, and… wait, “fun” is basically “funny”. I guess inquisitive works. It was always fun to hear you talk; you asked a lot of questions and had quite an imagination. You used to want to “give us haircuts” with your mother’s salad tongs all the time. You’d finish “cutting hair” and always say, “you look gawwwgeous!”

T: I remember that! Does Mom have any word suggestion other than, y’know, fat?

D: Oh boy, she’s laughing. She said “intense”… you used to get so worked up, you’d hyperventilate! I don’t remember that actually.

T: [laughs] You just remember all the fun dad stuff because you went to work all day! I guess the last five-centric question I have though is your business advice. How do you think Allston Pudding should go into the next five years? Like, what strategies would you offer?

D: Stay relevant! Don’t dwell on certain genres. If, like, country music becomes everyone’s favorite, then transition.

T: Oh god, it already is everyone’s favorite.

D: I know, I was watching the music awards last night. I won’t say you should do anything like that specifically, but all I’ll say is stay relevant. Don’t go the way of rotary phones or Atari or Pac-Man.

T: Hey, don’t knock Pac-Man! If we did go that way, we might have a retro comeback. Alright, final thoughts on five year things and Wesley?

D: I like that band! They should make a reunion. Send the note out!

T: We did get Phil Collins back after all, so I’ll put my name to this petition. Wesley, come back!