Ah, salve Wednesday. The glorious, medical stupid midday of the week where you return from a long hard, boring day at the Newbury Comics warehouse, give a cheerful salutation to your roommate, partner or cat and settle in with a nice warm PBR and the entire third season of “Andy Richter Controls The Universe.”
Yes my friend, you live in Allston and life is good. Scummy, but good. But wait, what’s this? A change of plans? Your roommate finishes his line of adderall and SMACKS the warm beer from your hand.
“What’s your fucking problem, bro?” barely escapes your mouth as the smack of the can echos through the empty apartment. Your roommate is unphased by your rebuttal and shoves a bright pink flier in your face.
Suddenly you are in awe. What is this? This…is that a flower or some kind of ink blot? Like those marijuana dabs everyone is talking about nowadays? No, no, this seems to be some sort of…communication, yes, some sort of high-society event in which alcohol is consumed, people mingle, and bands play. Your eyes skim the bright sheet as your roommate continues…
“We have to go to this fucking show tonight dude. Do you see who is playing? Fucking Grooms, brah, fucking Grooms. They put out that record, it’s called like Infinity Caller or something? You know the one that Kelly has? Well whatever dude, they have the spaciest jams that I’ve ever heard that just bust out into full on Hum-like noise-scapes brah. Oh, and I originally thought that ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’ was that Tiffany song…but it’s not.”
“Oh cool dude, cool,” you whisper, “Who are the Young Adults?”
“DUDE YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF THE YOUNG ADULTS?!” screams your roommate as he brutishly stabs his keys into a miller high life, “They have been around for so fucking long and make me so proud to be a 90’s kid, bra. Haven’t you heard their single ‘Born in 91?’ It’s all about how everything was so much cooler and simpler back then, and now we have these iPhones and student loans and bath salts. Shit’s fucked now. Oh, oh, and their buddies the Chandeliers play this awesome fast and pretty math rock that’s got crazy vocals. Let’s hurry man we gotta go, the show starts in like 20 minutes!”
“You had me at 90’s kid, bra!” you shout at your roommate which results in a spontaneous high-five. After this your roommate begins to shotgun his beer and upon further inspection of the flier you ask one final question:
“Dude, bro, who are these guys called…Vegans?”
“Oh I don’t fucking know dude!” he hands you a nice warm tecate, “Who cares man. I just wanna see Grooms.”
“True man, very true.”