Idiot Genes Presents: The Best Places To Drink (In Public) In Allston

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Living in Allston is great. While it may not be the cheapest place to live, there are some awesome places to drink with your friends. Sure, there are shit holes like “TITS” (Tavern In The Square, for those of you who are unfamiliar)… and shit heads that go to “TITS”. Yeah, even if you get into a decent bar before there’s a line, it closes at 2am, and of course all beer stores closed way before that.

It may seem like you’re fucked if you wanna have a good time, but trust us, you’re not. Move your drinking outside, in public!  Who cares, honestly? Everyone does it. We see old guys drinking on the street ALL THE TIME. We’ve lived here a while and picked up on what the old pros have been doing for years. First things first though, acquire booze!

Beer is awesome, don’t get us wrong, but when you’re living off the 9 bucks you made at O’Brien’s the other night, getting beer is out of the question. Buy some Mad Dog 2020 and a bag of nips. If you can’t find Mad Dog, just get some Evan Williams, shit’s delish.

#1: Ringer Park

This was definitely the first place we started going to get loaded. It’s a beautiful park with a playground, plenty of trees and some big rocks you can climb and hang out on. Before you crack open your bottle of Mad Dog, check the area for some beers that kids may have left.

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Jackpot, 30 rack of last sips. Certainly enough to get a buzz before we roll out.

#2:  The Sidewalk/Street

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On your way to the next spot, might as well nip it up. Everyone else is.

#3:  A Dumpster

It may sound gross to hang outside a dumpster, but its really not. A dumpster is just a big trash can, most everyone has a trash can in their kitchen and people drink in kitchens like every day. Another great spot to check for leftovers.

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“Alright! That’s like 2 shots!”

(Just for the record, the bottle is closed so its cool. Don’t take open beers from the dumpster, it can mix in with the real trash like food and then you’re just like one of those “freegans” who are just fucking gross.)

#4: The Sidewalk/Street. . . Again

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On your way to wherever you end up, you’re sure to be on some streets or sidewalks. . . might as well nip it up again! Crack out the Mad Dog, just make sure to keep it in a bag, for some reason when your booze is in a bag, it’s invisible to law enforcement.

#5: The Gutter

Most likely you’re near a gutter. Most likely you have little booze. Most likely you you have no money and most likely you’re blackout drunk. What reason do you have to not park it in the gutter for the night? Obviously if its raining that’s a good reason, but remember that dumpster?

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Wherever you end up out of alcohol, make sure to huddle up with your buddies, drink that last bit of booze and look for a decent cigarette butt. Maybe you didn’t make it home, maybe you don’t have a home, whatever, you’re in Allston.