An Open Letter to Anyone Who Wrote an Open Letter to Miley Cyrus

Miley Tear

 

To everyone that has written an open letter to Miley Cyrus recently: just shut the fuck up. Sufjan Stevens, unhealthy the girl grew up with some questionable parenting and guidance via the Disney machine. Do you really expect her grammar to be that great when she can’t even put her iPhone down for one second to stick her tongue out at you? Thank you for trying though. Now go back to finishing all those other states that need albums written about them.

Sinead O’Connor, I’m truly sorry Miley was mean to you on Twitter. I agree that that was really uncool of her, but she’s 20 years old. I’m 23, and I would have done the same thing if someone said shit about me. I know the internet wasn’t as popular in your heyday, so I will give it to you straight: what goes on the internet does not stay hidden and people will reblog/retweet/share the shit out of your dumb words. Words to the wise: think before you tweet, and stop wasting your time with all these letters. Really… FIVE?!

And Amanda Palmer: if something happened and Amanda Palmer didn’t write an open letter about it, did it really happen? We all remember her debacle after the Boston Marathon Bombing this year, and that was the last straw for me. This woman must be stopped. You are the anti-feminist posing as a feminist, and if Miley Cyrus wants to stick out her tongue and talk shit about Sinead O’Connor, it is not your place as “queen of all women in music” or whatever to stick your face in it. Thanks.

To everyone else not mentioned (like Thought Catalog who has become the new Cosmopolitan; let’s be real): just stop. Miley Cyrus is doing everything every pop star has done before her: sell herself to sell her records. In case you’re thinking it, I’m not just limiting this to women. As a girl growing up with NSYNC and Backstreet Boys, don’t even try to tell me I didn’t Google “Justin Timberlake shirtless” or “Nick Carter smiling” a few times (read: over 100 times and within the last week). Britney Spears sold her body by playing the virgin card. Christina Aguilera sold her body by saying you had to rub her the right way to get that genie out of the bottle. Nick Carter told me I had to be a good girl to get myself a bad boy (duly noted). Miley Cyrus rode naked around on a wrecking ball to sell her albums. We all do things differently to make money. Let’s leave it at that.