There’s no holiday we love more over at the Allston Pudding HQ than Presidents Day. For one thing, the holiday is vague as hell. It’s also forgotten in the big list of holidays kids look forward to. Then there’s the absurdity of how to spend it. Do we flip through photo books of old presidents? Do we hole up in the library and read autobiographies? Are we supposed to make valentines and mail them to the White House since the holiday falls immediately after Valentine’s Day? Should we send our condolences to all the could’ve-been presidents, past and present, who never made it past primaries?

Instead of fighting the confusion, we dove straight in to the holiday with help from some of our friends. Given this year is an election, it’s natural to wonder which presidential candidate you will vote for. But which would you date? Speedy Ortiz, Kal Marks, Palehound, Kid Mountain, Ghost Box Orchestra, and more transcribed their dream dates (with one legit piece of fan fiction making the cut).

But first, the rules:

• Bands can select presidential candidates from ANY election, not just this one.
• The date can be whatever they want it to be, wherever they want it to be, as long as it involves candy.
• Candy can play as big of a role in the story (touring a candy factory, meeting the inventor of Skittles, waking up inside of a YORK Peppermint Pattie) or as small of a role (the president gifts them a Snickers bar when they pick ’em up, the band orders Reese’s cheesecake for dessert, they share Sour Patch Kids at the movies) as they want.

Alas, say hello to your 2016 presidential candy-dates.

(Please note that all political opinions are those of the individuals interviewed, not necessarily of their respective projects as a whole or of the Allston Pudding Team. AKA politics are divisive, but everyone can get along and engage in music and democracy — especially when it involves candy!)