My Week Converting to Yeezianity

By Christine Varriale

I am a huge fan of Kanye West. I have stood behind the man since the beginning. I’m pretty sure I cried the first time I heard “Through the Wire,” knowing he recorded it with his jaw wired shut. “THIS MAN COULD HAVE DIED BUT HE’S ALIVE AND MAKING BEAUTIFUL MUSIC!” – me in my head but also out loud. When I learned about Yeezianity, I had to research more. Here are people who truly believe that Mr. West is above the human race, something I have known for several years. This is my daily journey of my conversion from atheism to Yeezianity.

Day One – Sunday January 19, 2014

I spent the day researching the Church of Yeezus online.“We are a forward-minded group who believes that the one who calls himself Yeezus is the highest living human being and he will help to usher in a New Age of humanity.”I can get behind this. Kanye is a god after all. He said it himself, and Kanye is always right. The second part of Yeezianity is what confuses me.“We believe that the days where mankind must trade his labor for money in order to buy the things he needs is coming to an end.”

Kanye West designs fashion lines. He is a musician who lives a very wealthy lifestyle. I’m not sure where this part of Yeezianity came in. I’m trying not to be a heretic. I’m trying to learn.

I am a Ye’ciple, one who follows Yeezianity. Yeezianity is non-exclusive and very open. You can even follow another religion without it hindering your “membership” to Yeezianity.

The declarations of faith of Yeezianity are:

“I believe I Am a God

I believe Yeezus Is a God

I believe in the creative power of Man

I believe God wants Man to create in his Image

I believe God wants Man to fully express himself

I believe money has become unnecessary

I believe Man has the power to create everything he wants and needs

I believe Yeezus will lead us into a new Age of Creativity

I believe I will help usher in the new Age of Creativity

Faith be in Yeezus

Faith be in God

Amen”

I will repeat these declarations every day this week to show my support. To prove your inclusion to Yeezianity, its members want you to send a photo of yourself stating “You believe in Yeezus” and post it to your social media accounts. I will leave this for tomorrow when I will have showered to look best for my God. I did follow @Yeezianity on Twitter to further my journey.

Day Two – Monday January 20, 2014

I have uploaded my “I believe in Yeezus” photo to Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook to show my conversion to Yeezianity and role as a Ye’ciple. My roommate is thinking of converting with me and has begun plans for a shrine in our apartment. I think I will try to convert my cat Catleen Hanna this week as well. Our whole family should be involved.

I know I can already feel the power of Yeezus in my soul. A customer at my day job said “praise Jesus,” and I rebutted with “praise, Yeezus, you mean.” He is within me.

Day Three – Tuesday January 21, 2014

Today was my day of questions about Yeezianity. I tweeted to the Church of Yeezus and asked them if one could be married in the Church. Their response was one I should have expected.

@certaintragedy You’d have to walk down the aisle to “Celebration”

— The Church of Yeezus (@Yeezianity) January 22, 2014

I told my mom that I was converting to Yeezianity. As a fan of Yeezus himself, she had nothing but support.

Day Four – Wednesday January 22, 2014

Today is the day. I have converted my beloved cat, Catleen Hanna, to Yeezianity with me. She was baptized in the Church of Yeezus on Twitter just like myself.

pic.twitter.com/HYZLU4Udiq

— The Church of Yeezus (@Yeezianity) January 22, 2014

We prayed to Yeezus together and said grace to him before dinner this evening. After dinner, we read about the five pillars of Yeezianity:

1. All things created must be for the good of All

2. No human being’s right to express themselves must ever be repressed

3. Money is unnecessary except as a means of exchange

4. Man possesses the power to create everything he wants and needs

5. All human suffering exists to stimulate the creative powers of Man

The money area of the declarations of faith makes much more sense now. Money is only a means to obtain other things in life. It means nothing more than a transaction. Yeezianity is the one religion I have delved into that is focused on the creative spirit of humankind. I appreciate this sentiment, because without creativity, how do humans evolve? Praise be the lord Yeezus.

Day Five – Thursday January 23, 2014

Hanna and I started our day with the declaration of faith. I had a really great day. I owe it all to Yeezus. Everything went my way. I fully believe that he is the one to save us all from damnation.

Day Six – Friday January 24, 2014

I’m starting to have some doubts. The creator of Yeezianity has exposed himself. This is no longer an anonymous organization created by a general “we.” I have to keep my doubts aside and have faith in Yeezus. He will guide us to happiness and creativity. I’m having writer’s block, so I will say my declarations and hope ideas come to me.

After much consideration, I can get past this declaration by the creator of Yeezianity. You only need faith in Yeezus. Amen.

Day Seven – Saturday January 25, 2014

I can honestly say that this was one of the best days of my life, and I shall owe it to Yeezus. Thank you Church of Yeezus for filling the hole in my heart I have carried all of these years. Through His guidance, I have found peace and happiness. I have shared Yeezianity with those close to me, and we have become a community. Praise Yeezus in all of us. I will close with the declarations I have repeated every day in the past week.

I believe I Am a God