NOOOOOOOOOO WE’RE SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After covering an impressive amount of ground in their blossoming (if you’re a true WLLMSBRG fan this will have significance for you) career, our new favorite band, then least favorite band has broken up after two incredible albums and as many shows. Any real Boston music fan will know the cataclysmic impact the punk trio had since exploding onto the scene earlier this year, and so we leave them as we found them – not as stinky men, but as stinky gods.

The breakup is rumored to be linked to their TD Garden show, after which Curt got extremely drunk and started dishing out fighting words like “bunk” and “maybe not so good” in reference to the band’s most recent album, the 137-minute wait, pay attention, am I supposed to make a left here?. His comments reportedly enraged notoriously chill bandmate Shirtless Mike, who wanted to tear his shirt off in anger but, in lieu of shirt, picked his nails quietly and mumbled “Fuck.”

This news comes on the tail of Abraham’s girlfriend reportedly becoming pregnant from the charismatic frontman’s punk rock rebellious seed about twelve hours after meeting him. When Curt asked how Kendra could possibly have gauged this pregnancy this early on, she simply shook her head and said “A mother always knows,” which is coincidentally a thirty-minute track on wait, pay attention.

WLLMSBRG, charmingly edgy ‘til the end, made this post on their official Facebook to announce the breakup:

hey motherfuckers
band’s over
it was chill but now it’s not
honestly fuck our fans
u made us this way
jk i dont mean that…or maybe i do???
im just trying to be real but fame is 2 real
never stop selling yr vowels

xoxo WLLMSBRG

Like everyone else, my favorite memory of WLLMSBRG will definitely be their unique, privileged approach to punk that said to the world, “Yeah, I’ve got a trust fund, but I’m not 25 yet so I’m gonna eat cheap food and chill until my parents force me to go to a law school, making this phase of my life something I’ll later refer to as my ‘wild youth’ to a son that will never really respect me as a parent or, more poignantly, a fellow human being.” Definitely something we can all connect to.

RIP WLLMBSBRG.