By Nick Canton

Like a Phoenix rising out of the ashes of the shittiness of every other band in existence, our prayers have been answered. WLLMSBRG is back!!

You have no idea how good it feels to write that. After their misunderstood but ultimately incredible TD Garden performance and harsh breakup, it seemed like we’d never hear their amazingly subversive tunes again.

Remember, this is the band that prior to this had said “lately our rotating lineup just feels like the last season of Degrassi,” citing Canadian actors Spencer MacPherson and Sara Waisglass’s positions playing xylophone and harmonium, respectively.  In the hour since their breakup, we were lead to believe that there was nothing more for them to say and that the music was dead.  Superfans mourned and half of our bloggers quit.  And with good reason.

But a warm light has come to us.

It turns out the band, thanks to group shock therapy, was able to put aside their differences and have reunited to release their newest album A Distant Butthole Unclenching, a return to their lo-fi roots. Lo-er, even.

“Oh shit, I forgot to hit record. Whatever, we’ll start from there,” sings drummer and apparently backup vocalist Shirtless Mike, newly returned from rehab, in a way that makes you think they probably did just forget to hit record.

The hiss is so loud on most tracks that two songs are straight up inaudible. And frankly, no living mortal deserves to hear them, not to mention the Pokémon-esque seizures they would probably induce from pure euphoria.  It feels so good to hear a return to the feedback and lack of proper tuning that gave them their career and won over celebrity fans like Taylor Swift, Taylor Lautner, and Taylor Hicks.  Our boys are back, and they’ve brought with them everything they’ve learned.

And everything they had to forget.