By Nick Canton

In a press release earlier today, the three current members of WLLMSBRG announced that they had officially disbanded for good.

“We’re older now, you know?” Shirtless Mike. “You can’t be in a rock band forever. Priorities change.” He knowingly glanced at Abraham. “People change.”

So what places do these veritable angles leave us for?

Abraham is preparing for his new role as a father, with the anticipation of his first son with longtime girlfriend Kendra, who is somehow eight months pregnant. Superfans know the road hasn’t always been tough for Punk’s power couple. But it seems they have finally come to an understanding.

“She’s a total bitch. But she’s going to make an excellent mother,” smiled Abraham.

He has been taking his hobby-turned-side-project-turned-full-fledged-career as an organic vegan fried snack cake blogger to the next level with the unveiling of his new website.

“The website has really blown up, it’s become a full time job. Next we’re looking into registering a domain name. We’re all really excited. All three of us,” he said, beaming at Kendra.

He was talking about his future child. That was the third person.  That’s why he said three of us instead of just two, even though there were only two people there.

Shirtless Mike is running for United State Senate. No surprise there, given his long held interest and activism in the United States government as a Congressman. “My platform is being there for injured animals, transportation, rights, economy, education, no child left behind, patriot’s day, podium, flag, tree, two-story buildings, three-story buildings,” he said, at one point just listing things he saw. “My shirt may not be here. But I am.”

I think I speak for all of us when I say “Shirtless Mike 2016.”

Cliff died.

Today wraps up a sad day in Allston World Punk history. The architects have left us, leaving us to live in their menagerie of soundscapes and feelings humanity hadn’t quite discovered.