AP: Where’s the best place to get a fucking sandwich in Boston?
Martin Earley: Depending on your style, and the little numbers on the pieces of paper in your wallet, we’ve got two recommendations. The best bang for your buck is Al’s, hands down. Amazing sandwiches at a killer price, and the portions are fit for a king. If you’ve got a more adventurous hankering, the All Star Sandwich Bar in Inman Square is the proverbial cat’s pajamas. The weekly specials, fresh ingredients, and the chef’s penchant for unusual combinations make that place a veritable mecca for any sandwich enthusiast.
AP: Whats the worst fucking thing that has happened on the road thus far?
ME: I don’t want to throw anyone under the bus, but our manager Eric totaled our van a few months ago, so I will. We were following one of this winter’s many snowstorms from Chicago back home over night, and about 10 miles outside of Boston we hit an icy patch of highway that delivered us into the ditch, by way of the guardrail. No one was hurt, but Devin’s mom’s Dodge Caravan suffered some irreparable damage, so we had to put her down. The van, I mean. We were slowly outgrowing her anyway, so I suppose it was a blessing in disguise, but we still give Eric shit about it from time to time. He also viciously cracked Callie’s phone in a back alley in Austin, Texas, but that’s another story.
AP: Whats the best fucking thing that has happened on the road thus far?
ME: Tough one. We’ve had a lot of great times on the road. While I might put myself at risk of taking the easy way out by saying this, I really do think that the people we’ve met along the way are the best part of this whole experience. If you ever need to affirm your faith in humanity and get an insight into the seemingly inherent goodness of your fellow earth-dwellers, just form a band and hit the road.
AP: If you could open up for any band in the whole fucking galaxy, who would it be?
ME: We’ve got a not-so mild obsession with Scottish rockers Frightened Rabbit, so sharing a stage with those guys would be a dream. I think it may be a bit unfair to all the alien bands out there to choose a band from this planet, but until Bonnaroo and Coachella inevitably expand into the far reaches of our galaxy and start featuring extraterrestrial super groups I think I have to stick to my guns on this one.
AP: If you could shrink down ANY fucking animal in the whole world to be like a pocket-sized little buddy to keep you company on tour, which kind of animal would that be?
ME: I’ve got a miniature Rottweiler called Keon, so he’s already pretty much pocket-sized. Since I didn’t have to shrink him, though, I think the only reasonable answer to this question is a gorilla with wings. Choosing an animal that doesn’t have the ability to open a fridge would be pretty shortsighted, but gorillas are incredibly strong, so that won’t be an issue. We could get Keon a saddle and have our little winged ape ride around on him. Some might say that gorillas don’t have wings, but if I have the power to shrink a gorilla down to pocket size, I’m pretty sure I have the power to attach some sweet wings, too.
AP: Have you ever been walking down the fucking street and seen someone who looks a lot like an Off Duty Santa?
ME: Santa is always on duty. Everyone knows that. We usually carry milk and cookies around with us for situations like those.
AP: Oh. Tell me your favorite fucking story of all time (real or fiction, dgaf).
ME: The best stories are those in your heart. This one is good too, though:
AP: Whats the greatest fucking thing about returning to ye olde Boston after a long tour?
ME: The best thing is definitely a good night’s sleep in our own beds. Nothing beats that. After this depressingly long winter, we’re also excited to enjoy the city without having to wear a goddamn sleeping bag at all times. That should be pretty good.