Quick: what did you get your Dad for Father’s Day? Nothing? You didn’t even realize that Father’s Day was this Sunday? That’s ok, there’s still time to make that last ditch effort to find a spatula branded with his favorite football team or the latest Bruce Spingsteen album on vinyl.
As a holiday, Father’s Day always seems to get overlooked, and that’s a shame, because anyone who is lucky enough to have a dad who made major sacrifices so their kids could eat food, sleep in a bed, and make bad decisions deserves a pretty big celebration.
We (attempted to) honor Father’s Day by asking Bent Shapes, Flat Swamp, and Funeral Advantage for some examples of times when they completely embarrassed their dads, but their old man still loved them anyway. Take a look, and then go get your Dad that spatula he’s always wanted.
Ben From Bent Shapes
Peter “Pizza” Potrykus isn’t your average Dad. Sure, he’s helped me out in some very traditional ways (guiding me through school projects, teaching me to ride a bike and to fish, exposing me to the greatness of Ghostbusters and The Three Stooges), but he also allowed me to explore life experiences about which he may have been less knowledgeable. My siblings and I took martial arts classes for a summer, but we also took dance lessons. My Dad and I honed my jump shot, and also went over lines for the school musical.
Somewhere, there’s an iZone polaroid picture of me wearing some SoCal punk band’s t-shirt with a plaid tie, hair poorly-dyed and grown out to the point where I have a sort of bowl cut featuring colors that correspond roughly to malnourished grass in various stages of a drought. I’m giving the finger over an open American history book. This was shortly after I started pasting up signs reading “Music Is Not A Crime” all over school in defense of fellow band The Buttfuck Popes (who were unceremoniously suspended from Braintree High after performing their eponymous anthem, a composition featuring lyrics which showcased a truly impressive myriad of F-bombs at the annual talent show), and shortly before I would boycott The National Honor Society, which I lambasted for rewarding academic achievement with the same amount of community service as vandalism or petty larceny.
A couple years later, I’d leave home to study poetry as a backup plan in case my ideal career of playing music in basements somehow failed to support me financially. Somehow, my Dad managed to keep his eyes from rolling out of his head through all of this, tolerating my most ridiculous behavior and even encouraging that which he saw as virtuous, if slightly misguided. My Dad raised four kids this way. My three siblings are: studying public health and volunteering for Planned Parenthood, finished with a degree in music therapy and touring regularly with her band, and running the Boston Hassle while publishing the Boston Counter Cultural Compass, respectively. None of us would be pursuing our goals the way we are today if our Dad had (however understandably) disowned us for our various missteps. There’s no way I can thank him enough for the love and support he’s shown me over the years. Happy Father’s Day, Dad!
Check out Bent Shapes on Bandcamp and then see them with Air Traffic Controller on 6/27 at the Sinclair
Theo From Flat Swamp
I guess my story was when I was 15 I would text my friend who moved to Bermuda all the time…ya know stuff like “sup dude, have you ever eaten frozen grapes?” or something like “hey, remember that time we fire extinguished each other in the face?”. And so between all these really important texts, I had no idea I’d been charged thousands of dollars for texting someone out of the US. So wah-lah, there’s unemployed Theo who should’ve probably been disowned by his Dad, but his Dad rules, so all was well!
Check out Flat Swamp on Bandcamp
Tyler from Funeral Advantage
My father never really caught me doing anything cool. You always hear these cool-guy stories like “oh man my dad busted me hanging out of my bedroom window trying to sneak out with my friends” or “oh man my parents caught me with a girl in my room” or whatever. My stories are always more along the lines of “oh man I told my Mom that What Women Want is my favorite movie and my Dad found out”.
On my 17th birthday I came home with a lip ring, that was a pretty harsh blow to both his pride and my masculinity. He eventually forgave me but admits that every year on my birthday he’s still afraid I’ll come home with a lip ring again. I might. If it were me, I would immediately disown my son if he did something this corny. Like I’m a hot, single dad with great hair and it’s 2027, I don’t have it in me to have a son like this. Not in my house.
Also, when I was 11 I used to entertain my friends by writing things like “BITCH” across pictures of teachers’ faces in my yearbook and pass it out to them and we would laugh. We were 11 but to this day I still think this is hilarious and would laugh if I saw it happening. One of my “friends” ended up turning the yearbook into the one teacher who’s picture I had written “DICKHEAD” across (ha ha).
Anyway, I was rightfully suspended for one day. I don’t think I can remember my Dad being more disappointed in me. I was expecting a shitstorm, but he was just silent when I got home that day. Seemed like he wasn’t mad, just disappointed. I dunno, I’ve always felt bad about it. Imagine your 11 year old getting suspended for something so stupid. We’ve never spoken about, it but I’m pretty positive he was really just more pissed at them, not me. wouldn’t you be?
Check out Funeral Advantage on Bandcamp and at Roggie’s on June 21st