Flyer by Rich Ochs

Thank jeebus it’s warm out again. That means it’s time for sweet outdoor DIY festivals! This Saturday is Grass Stains, a festival happening at Ringer Park in Allston, brought to you by the deities known as Boston Hassle. We put together a Mad Lib to help you get to know the acts on the bill, and introduce a little friendly competition between the Electric and the Acoustic stages.

If you want to play along, here are the categories, and a Mad Lib completed by some of the bands playing the festival is right below that:

Face Off between The Electric Stage and The Acoustic Stage at Grass Stains

Saturday, it’s all going northwesterly.

In one corner, we have the hefty Electric Stage contenders. They’ve been training for 311 days. We caught up with industrial, experimental artist Bathaus, who said part of their training included drinking guava juice every day. Noise rockers Gerty Farish started each morning with goblet squats to prepare for this event. What is jangly rock stars Bent Shapes’ secret to success? They tell Allston Pudding that constantly repeating their mantra, “Float like a praying mantis, sting like a manatee,” keeps them focused on winning. The Electric Stage contenders had a rough start early this season, but DIY electronic folk artist Al Marantz & The Piffs turned that all around with an watery play that saved them from elimination. Avant-punk rockers Moshi Moshi I am The Decider won rookie of the year in 1945, so this team is stacked to say the least. Rock and roll blues machine Andy California is sure to have a trick up his moleskin slacks, which could make for a close score by the end of the night.

Many have called the Acoustic Stage team “silent but outrageous,” a warning their opponents fail to take seriously until it’s too late! Experimental artist Jesse Collins is a new recruit, but the records he set in the red leagues are unlike anything we’ve ever smoked before. Ambient folk musician Squirrel Flower says she credits her team’s success to spending a lot of time playing around the whole city of Boston. Anjimile can regularly be found training outside of the The Prudential Center, challenging anyone who walks by to some one-on-one in order to stay in shape. Milo Jones’ music may seem peaceful and ethereal, but don’t let that fool you. He plays oily and won’t take “fuck!” for an answer. Perhaps the wildcard of the whole event, folk artist Tom Kovacevic, has been in Maine, away from the team, doing his own special kind of training, which involves racing lions and a strict diet of cheeseburgers. Batting cleanup is experimental folk artist Karl, who’s already racked up 188 points this season, and is a key player keeping the Acoustic Stage undefeated so far.

But this could really be anyone’s Grass Stains, folks. Be sure not to miss this slimy event, because we’re unlikely to see a lineup like this again in our lifetime! Boston Hassle even invited Gary Busey to officiate the event, but they unfortunately had to decline due to their fear of happiness and actual grass stains.

Find all the real information about Grass Stains here and get out there!