Yes, it really doesn't get much suckier to be single on Valentine's Day, but oh wait, hang on it does: this Hallmark Holiday is especially sore for those who just recently cut off ties and decided to embark on separate and lonely winter paths. Fortunately, your favorite local musicians are here to help and offer some healing words of encouragement and humor for how to deal with that achey breaky heart. (And hey, if you dig their chicken soup for the soul, you'd probably like their music too. Click on the photo of the band to learn more about them.)
A bottle of Moscato and Netflix
Advice for People Who are Heartbroken:
Dr. Laura's 7 Ways to Emerge from a Breakup
Favorite Love Related Song:
Second Date - Thee Oh Sees
Photo Courtesy of Travis Alex Photo
Way To Deal with Heartache / Break Up:
Every break up is different, sometimes it's heartbreaking and sometimes it's just a realization that you're not meant to be with that person and that's ok. So, if it's heartbreaking, I usually let myself cry and talk to my friends and family about it. It's always a nice feeling to know they'll always be there for me through those times. If it's a mutual break up, then I might be disappointed and upset for a while, but I'm ok with letting it go. Honestly, I try not to write love songs or heartbreak songs, because I usually don't have much to say about that topic and would rather just live it than talk about it too much. But sometimes writing a song really helps clarify my feelings (or loss of feelings) for someone.
Advice for People Who are Heartbroken:
My advice is to let yourself cry, watch some comedies, eat some junk food, get a little angry if you need to, but then get up and let it pass. Every relationship teaches you more about who you are and the type of person you want to be with, so it's never a waste or the end of the world. It always gets better with time. This too shall pass.
Favorite Love Related Song:
Falling Slowly from Once. Just the music alone is so heartbreaking and beautiful. It's an innocent love song that slowly builds in seriousness, just like a relationship. I just love that song.
Falling Slowly - Once
Mean Creek
Input provided by Chris Keene
Way To Deal with Heartache / Break Up:
I'm sure everyone wishes they could handle it responsibly and with a level head but I don't think that's usually realistic for many people. I'm usually pretty torn up about it for a good amount of time, and the scar is almost always permanent in one way or another. An emotional wound heals the same way a physical wound does. Slowly but surely. Even once it heals, every now and then it'll still sometimes get sore when it rains. That sort of thing. These things have a tendency to stick with people I think. They stick with me at least. You learn to live with it though, and you learn to find happiness again.
Advice for People Who are Heartbroken:
My advice for people who are heartbroken is to remember that there's a life beyond that out there waiting for you whenever you're ready to receive it. You have to be open to it though. Wallowing in your own personal pity party closes you off to those things. I know from personal experience. You can't try to avoid your hurt or forget it either. You need to deal with it, confront it, learn to live with it, and find peace with it. Then be happy with yourself and who you are on your own. Then you can be open to the next great thing to come your way, and I promise you, it will come your way when the time is right. Part of that is fate, but part of it is up to you too. I know all of this is much easier said than done, but it doesn't make it any less true.
Favorite Love Related Song:
It depends what kind of love song we're talking about here as there are many songs that deal with all kinds of different aspects of love. The long lost love, the one who got away, your first love, the one who has always been here, your soul mate, etc. Overall, my favorite love song of all time is "I Don't Want Control of You" by Teenage Fanclub. I think it sums up what love should ideally be so simply and perfectly and beautifully, better than any song I've ever heard. It describes the kind of love I want to have. It's about mutual respect, and growing with the person, and accepting/loving them for who they are, sticking by them through thick and thin, and learning from them something new every day. It's perfect.
I Don't Want Control Of You - Teenage Fanclub
Way To Deal with Heartache / Break Up:
Step 1: Wallow in self-pity/self-loathing.
Step 2: Write music.
Advice for People Who are Heartbroken:
Everyone deals with heartbreak in his or her own way. No reason to take the advice of four random dudes.
Favorite Love Related Song:
You Are My Own Sinking Ship - Good Old War
These guys don't know how to mix love and sanity and neither do I.
-- Evan Linsey (Drums)
Columbia - Local Natives
Kelcey Ayer sings about the passing of his mother and it's so heartfelt and moving. It’s a somber song about how he loves and misses his mother. My mother passed away and every time I hear that song I think about her and my love for her.
-- Evan Radkey (Guitar)
Here's Looking At You Kid - Gaslight Anthem
It's heartbreaking because it details all of the loves of his life, and at first he is callous, but by the end of the song he is able to wish them all so long and good luck.
-- Graham Cooke (Bass)
Jesus, Etc. - Wilco
No one looks at love like Jeff Tweedy.
--Noah Yastrow (Guitar)
Vundabar
Way To Deal with Heartache / Break Up:
At the Vundabar camp we like to deal with heartbreak the healthy way. First we begin with a vigorous workout session supplemented by a diet of nothing but whey protein. Next we plan a trip to the sweat lodge where we consult our spiritual guide, "Squatting Bear". Once Squatting Bear has brought us mental and spiritual clarity we treat ourselves to a tub of Ben and Jerry's ice cream because we've been good and we deserve it. Finally we each release a dove, symbolic of our new found freedom and confidence. Repeat as needed.
Advice for People Who are Heartbroken:
Invest in a hermit crab. They're equally if not more fulfilling than a romantic partner and they can work wonder with their pinchers.
Favorite Love Related Song:
Girl From Ipanema. Lovely song, very sexy feel as well as a little nostalgic and melancholy, which makes for a nice love song.
Girl From Ipanema
Input provided by Ali Donohue
Way To Deal with Heartache / Break Up:
Usually there's some crying but then that gets boring so then I write music. For whatever reason singing about heartbreak feels less socially regrettable than posting an emotional status update on facebook or crying in public. I avoid sad/mellow music when I'm already bummed so I usually end up listening to all my favorite punk and hardcore tapes and records. Also spending some quality time with friends/roommates/cats is another thing that definitely helps.
Advice for People Who are Heartbroken:
My advice for people who are heartbroken is to do things that make you feel good. I think doing little things like playing darts with your buddies (throwing things is nice!) or treating yourself to a something special (have you ever had a donut from Sabertooth Bakery?) are good things to do. Other things like going for a bike ride, checking out a show at a place you've never been to and just ~putting yourself out there~ are good things to do to and may take your mind off of your </3. Maybe you don't want to be around people for awhile which is totally legit and if that's the case pick up a book or find a series on Netflix to binge watch for a few days. I've found that sad/intense emotions can be a really great catalyst for creative projects so maybe try something new like make a new recipe, draw, start a collage, learn an instrument, write a story, doodle, send a letter to an old pal or whatever you can think of that you've always wanted to try. The world is your oyster, or as my bandmate Chelsea says, "Yoyster."
Favorite Love Related Song:
I think my favorite love song of all time is "Funnel of Love" by Wanda Jackson. I like it because it frames love in a spooky light as if love is something to literally run from and I think that sense of apprehension towards tenderness is something people can relate to. A newer lovey song that I've been digging is this track by Nancy. Put that on a mix for a crush to let them know 'what's up.'
Funnel of Love - Wanda Jackson
Way To Deal with Heartache / Break Up:
Sam: I've often been the one that breaks up with the other person, which I think makes for different coping mechanisms than if you were dumped/rejected.
Breaking: usually immerse myself in books or music to completely distract myself from thinking about the person or situation while also avoiding my phone almost entirely.
Broken: fetal position with the lights off for weeks.
Chris: Uh, beer and ice cream(?).
Advice for People Who are Heartbroken:
Sam: I don't have a lot of great advice. The only thing that really "fixes" it is time. Distancing yourself from the whole thing. Even if you never feel normal again the further away it gets the easier it is to feel good about your new weird self.
Chris: Whiskey and ice cream.
Favorite Love Related Song:
Sam:
Love songs usually make me feel embarrassed. They don't stick on me or in my mind as favorites. Unless it's with a twist. Or twisted. There are definitely love songs I enjoy but nothin' comes to mind really.
Chris:
While there are some superb songs – even love songs – about substances/imbibing, I do, well, LUV a good love song. Many ‘60s Top 40 love songs, particularly from British Invasion bands, are just so cheesy, sappy, and GOOD. However, since the common theme of your inquires has been heartbreak, I think I’d rather mention a couple of my favorite ANTI-LOVE SONGS. I used to have a ’66 garage-style radio show at my college, and around Valentines Day I’d always assemble a playlist of some of my favorite anti-love songs!
One of my favorite, most heartbreaking songs is the Searchers’ 1964 version of “Needles And Pins.” Having said this, I find the best version of it to be the Ramones cover off of Road To Ruin. In the Searchers version, the playing and vocal delivery are both pretty upbeat, whereas the Ramones version is, believe it or not, slightly slower, and Joey’s super dynamic vocals just tear at yr little heartstrings!
Another favorite anti-love song of mine was written by not only my favorite bands from Boston, but one of my favorite bands of all time: The Remains! Their tune “Why Do I Cry” really has it all when it comes to a great song. If you don’t know it, just go listen to it already (and be sure to catch the original lineup that record the “Why Do I Cry” 45rpm single the next time they rock Allston)!
A Few other thematically-related favorites are “It’s All Over Now” by the Stones, “I’ll Feel A Whole Lot Better” by the Byrds, Nico’s “These Days.” “Who Loves The Sun” by the Velvets, “Ever Fallen In Love” by Buzzcocks, “Agony” by the Muffs, and the Descendents’ “Everything Sucks.” Now, if that if that ain’t some heartbroken cry-into-your-beer (or ice cream!) music, I don’t know what is (except for A LOT of great old timey and country-western)!
Needles & Pins - The Ramones
Why Do I Cry - The Remains
Way To Deal with Heartache / Break Up:
Party
Advice for People Who are Heartbroken:
Party
Favorite Love Related Song:
Santa's A Fat Bitch - Insane Clown Posse
Sneeze
Way To Deal with Heartache / Break Up:
Play guitar, hibernate, and watch Sleepless In Seattle on repeat drunk.
Advice for People Who are Heartbroken:
Drink until you forget.
Favorite Love Related Song:
Mineral by & Serenading. It is just great song about hopelessness which is all we really feel.
Mineral - &Serenading
Input provided by Sadie Dupuis
Way To Deal with Heartache / Break Up:
Binge eating: a whole box of ice cream sandwiches in a sitting, drinking a jar of pickle brine, cooking failed elaborate cookbook dinners, ordering three Thai take-out meals and eating all of them while sobbing in front of whatever's in syndication on USA for hours at a time. Probably sleeping on the couch. Usually I'll write some songs once the binge eating and couch sleeping is over with.
Advice for People Who are Heartbroken:
Put yourself into a new project, even if it's a small one. Try not to read the most depressing novels you can find.
Favorite Love Related Song:
Of recent releases, "Empty Head" from the self-titled Swearin' record is really simple, bittersweet, and nostalgic, like all of my favorite love songs. It's not even overtly about a relationship, but some of the lines really hit me in that interpretive zone ("Hot at night, even late, I still call you by your old name" and "I collect the blurry past into my empty head, and it's sad to want it back" is pretty devastating stuff to a sentimental dude like me). I must've listened to that song a couple hundred times in the past year. Of non-recent releases, I'd pick "Ive Been Loving You Too Long" by Otis Redding. Always good on the jukebox!
I've Been Loving You Too Long - Otis Redding
Pile
Input provided by "Dumb Matt"
Way To Deal with Heartache / Break Up:
I usually don't date people, not cause I can't or whatever, I just don't. I haven't had a girlfriend in years. I think I deal with things super typically, I get pissed off at people and talk way too much about it to my friends until they get fed up and tell me to shut the fuck up and move on. And then I move on.
Advice for People Who are Heartbroken:
Don't do anything stupid. There is no such thing as your "One True Love", that's bullshit. There are 6 or so billion people on the planet, and like 6 million here in Mass alone. There are dozens of people out there for you, and probably someone better than that dumbass who just dumped you. Hang with your friends and don't go out looking to fuck (but don't turn it down either, I guess). Be a grown up and do something cool. People get so fucking codependent, they rely on being in a relationship and that's fucking stupid. If you're not cool being alone, you're not cool to be with either.
Favorite Love Related Song:
Jesus, I rarely listen to love songs. My favorite love song is maybe "WIthout Love" by Propagandhi. Chris is singing about his cat that died who he loved a lot and how his cat's death makes him think about how short life is. It's a pretty cheesy topic, but I think a lot of times things are cheesy cause they're something we all relate to. But you can tell he really loves his cat. "As Cronie slipped away, I held her in my arms reduced to 'Please don't leave me. What will I do?'" I really love animals, so I can relate.
I've been putting off giving a real answer to this question cause I really don't listen to love songs much. I have no idea, I don't like love songs. Except for "Code Blue" by TSOL.
Without Love - Propagandhi
Code Blue - TSOL
Input Provided by Pete Bayko
Way To Deal with Heartache / Break Up:
I don't really have a certain strategy or anything to deal with heartbreak or a break-up, but I've noticed some things that seems to happen naturally when dealing with one or the other. Almost immediately I develop an extreme sensitivity to sunlight, which can only be resolved by staying in my bedroom as much as possible and nailing heavy blankets over the windows. Usually my eyes will start to become irritated (most likely because of all the dust in my room) and they will start to leak some sort of liquid out of my tear ducts at an impressive rate. The only cure for that I've found is to bury my face in my pillow and moan while a mixture of tears, boogers and drool make a perfect Rorschach test looking image on the pillow. After a few days one or all of my roommates will knock on the door complaining about the constant voice yelling things like "why?" and "this hurts so bad". Once I get off the phone with my Mom I'll leave my room for first time in a few days, get some ice cream and watch the TV, which for some reason is only playing romantic movies. After I finish all of the ice cream one of my roommates will ask "Where's your girlfriend?" which will remind me how nice it was back in room. I guess to answer the question in short, I don't deal well with a break-up.
Advice for People Who are Heartbroken:
Try to avoid thinking of the person. Don't call or text them. Don't go on facebook to look at their status or look at old pictures with them. Basically, as awful as it feels cut off all ties to the said ex. If any of this is too difficult to manage just drink beer or smoke weed or do both, also when was the last time you had a good acid trip?
Favorite Love Related Song:
Either Beyonce's "Irreplaceable" or Puddle of Mudd's "She Fuckin Hates Me".
Irreplaceable - Beyonce
She Fuckin Hates Me - Puddle of Mudd