Malatese are a four-piece outfit from Harrisonburg, VA who play what they describe as “nervous psychedelic post punk stuff”. In an effort to promote their upcoming gig at Crafts House at Tufts with Potty Mouth and Kal Marks on January 31st, they’re sharing their culinary genius with the world in the form of four  recipes that could end up changing the face of food forever.

Try one (or all four) out for yourself, and find out why the term “nervous” doesn’t just apply to their music.

While you’re cooking (or drifting into a cold syrup induced coma) be sure to blast “Weak Stream” – a track from their new EP ANIMAL RELIEF below. If you like what you hear, you can download the track for free on Bandcamp. Then get out to Tufts to see them with some local favorites at the end of the month.

Recipe #1: The Rye Old Sage
2 oz Old Overholt rye whiskey
3 oz Simply Grapefruit juice
3 dash Angostura bitters
1 sugar cube
4-5 sage leafs<

Muddle bitters, sugar, and sage. Add rye and grapefruit juice. Shake. Serve on the rocks in a tumbler. Garnish with grapefruit rind.

Recipe #2: Death of a Thousand Martyrs
1 pint of rice (preferably leftover fried rice from two day old Chinese food)
2 eggs
1-5 tbsp of Soy Sauce
Any sort of cheese you desire
Salt (to taste)
A splash of Texas Pete
A splash of Chipotle Tabasco
More Salt
Dash of Garlic

Warm the rice on a frying pan until warm. Once rice is warm, add two eggs and stir. It is critical that you re-refry the rice. Once the egg has amalgamated with the rice, add the cheese and soy sauce. You will notice a distinct browning of the dish occurring in this step. Stir and cook on medium low heat for five minutes, adding the hot sauces, salt and garlic. Garnish dish with a torn up tortilla.

Recipe #3: Banana Steak (not vegan)
Ingredients:
1 banana (new or old)
1/2 onion
1 steak

Chop or otherwise separate banana and onion into bite-sized pieces. Cover steak with banana and onion pieces and cook over medium heat in a pot or pan with oil. Grab two or three bottles of a favorite Mexican beer and put on some Ariel Pink. Set up a lawn chair. Cook steak to preferred heat. The bananas and onions should melt down to a mostly indistinguishable paste. Serve and enjoy.

Recipe #4: Sweet Dreams Cocktail
1 part water or absinthe
As many parts Nyquil that it takes you to nod off within the first fifteen minutes of a Bergman film.

It’s not so much the Nyquil, but the sort of vessel you drink your cocktail out of (See photo below).