SATURDAY, JUNE 7
The Day Where The Schedule Is Actually The List of Collaborators on Jack White’s Next Album
Little Names: Don’t Miss…
Classix
When: 3:00 – 3:45
Where: Honda Stage
Simplified Genre: Electronic
Interesting Online Tidbit: This is where the duo loses points. Not too many hilarious anecdotes. It’s almost like they’re professionals or something.
Though, it’s worth noting that this is the first website that comes up when you google them. http://theclassixband.com/
Wedding, anyone?
Sounds Like: Your standard DFA outfit, with considerably more 70s.
Selling Point: I saw these guys very briefly, from a considerable distance at FYF 2013, and I remember specifically being mad that I couldn’t make my way to the middle. They were really, really fun. Hopefully we can all get a little bit closer together. (That’s not weird, right?)
The Internet
When: 12:45 – 1:30
Where: Gotham Tent
Simplified Genre: R & B, rap
Interesting Online Tidbit: According to interviews, Syd Tha Kid was/is down with the stupid stuff that Odd Future pulled lyric-wise earlier in their career. This is notable because she, unlike everyone else, was correct. Goddamn, she’s cool. Is it hard for the coolest OF member to keep challengers to her coolness title at bay? I want to know.
Sounds Like: Making out on the beach, but like, the fake version. Not the actual version where there’s way too much sand, and nobody told you about that guy who keeps trying to sell water bottles against all visual evidence that you’re not to be bothered right now.
Selling Point: In contrast with almost every other member of the Odd Future collective, The Internet can be safely played at a brunch without anyone getting uncomfortable. Sweet, sultry singing from Syd Tha Kid getting matched up with smooth backing stuff from anyone is going to be great. Get ready to showcase your best immobile dancing skills.
Papa
When: 1:30 – 2:15
Where: GovBall NYC Stage
Simplified Genre: Indie pop
Interesting Online Tidbit: Just read their bio (http://www.papatheband.com/bio/) and tell me that isn’t one of the more pretentious things you’ve read before lunch today. Mind you, it’s a great read. But still.
Sounds Like: Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr, ABADABAD
Selling Point: Really, really, really catchy stuff. Dangerously catchy. Padded walls-level catchy. Go see them if you want several new ringtones, and a fair share of indie rock goodness.
Big Names, Don’t Miss…
Deafheaven
When: 2:15 – 3:00
Where: Gotham Stage
Simplified Genre: Black metal
Interesting Online Tidbit: Via Wikipedia, on tour mates Russian Circle:
“The three rules of any successful band are to write good tunes, be excellent live, and to not be an asshole while doing that.”
D…Dad?
Sounds Like: One of my best friends said something along the lines of, “like the surface of the sun” but it was in a positive way, I swear. So I’m going with that.
Selling Point: Uhhh, the fact that this is the only black metal act in recent memory to sweep the critical hearts of every music publication in America? Is that a good enough reason? (Seriously, so many people sucked these guys’ dicks after Sunbather dropped last year that it’s a wonder The Source didn’t get in on the action and give it five mics. To be clear, that dick-sucking was warranted, it’s an incredible album.)
Diarrhea Planet
When: 12:45 – 1:30
Where: Big Apple Stage
Simplified Genre: The closest thing we’re ever going to get to good hair metal
Interesting Online Tidbit: Oh hey, did you know that Allston Pudding is hosting Diarrhea Planet in Boston, at the Great Scott, on Thursday June 5? Wow! That’s so interesting! Hot dang!
Sounds Like: Everyone high-fiving each other at once, a cataclysmic event that upends the very continental plates themselves, somehow giving everyone identical haircuts that resemble Jordan Smith’s illustrious mane. Yeah, that. It sounds like that.
Selling Point: R ead the above paragraph, because I’m not exaggerating. These guys are some of the happiest men I’ve ever seen take the stage anywhere, and their anthems rival Fang Island’s best work in terms of “sheer-joy rock” and “potential LARP-ing soundtrack material.” Can’t reccommend enough.
Sleigh Bells
When: 8:15 – 9:30
Where: Gotham Stage
Simplified Genre: Noise pop (whatever that means)
Interesting Online Tidbit: Via Wikipedia, Alexis Krauss on bandmate Derek Miller:
“Krauss was pursuing a Rhodes Scholarship at the time, but decided to join forces with Miller instead”
DUDE. I mean, she made the right choice, but DUDE.
Sounds Like: The sound of your neck shattering.
Selling Point: If you’re worried that you haven’t gotten your fill of testosterone by this point, then have no fear, because you’ll be saturated with so many Y-chromosomes by the end of Sleigh Bells’ set that your toes will have six-packs. By all accounts, this is going to be some extremely loud, extremely awesome shit.
Chance The Rapper
When: 3:45 – 4:45
Where: Gotham Tent
Simplified Genre: Rap
Interesting Online Tidbit: Take your pick of zines and articles about how his first mixtape was made during his ten days of school suspension (hence, “10 Day”). I’ll wait.
Sounds Like: If an obscenely young, amped up Andre 3000 had sweet babies with James Brown and they were all raised by Ab-Soul. That.
Selling Point: Chance is indisputably one of the best performers in the festival circuit right now. He’s got an insane rap game, dance moves up the wazoo, an incredible backing band (featuring underrated trumpet extraordinaire Nico Segal) and enough pent-up energy to keep you grooving till the next afterparty. He’s gonna bring it.