Last May I caught Hop Along at Great Scott. Like most at the sold out show, I looked forward to hearing the band’s long-awaited second release in person. I was thrilled when they delivered. Painted Shut was just as gripping on stage as its recordings, mixing the energy of new material with live spontaneity and Frances Quinlan’s unmatched voice. The crowd on the other hand, well, they were a different story.
I’d have to pinpoint one showgoer: the fan directly in front of me, who eagerly awaited Hop Along’s set as Palehound and Thin Lips played… by texting. Harmless enough, until it turned into a leisurely jaunt through social media. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat. But it wasn’t until Quinlan and Co. took the stage that things really got wild, when—hold on. She really was on Tumblr!
We’ve all been there, and seen that. The kind of people who get to the gig, and keep their eyes on their phones like they never left home in the first place. The kind of people who make us cringe and wonder, “why watch the show from behind a screen?” And like the case of my tumblin’ homegirl, “do you even care about this band?”
Leaving Great Scott that night, ears ringing and iPhone set to vibrate, I walked home with the fervor of a seriously pissed off Steve Jobs. And like the Apple icon, a call to action hit me as I reached full frustration—which was really somewhere around Harvard Street.
So here it is, folks. Some basic tips for using your phone at shows. Internalize them, practice them, for God’s sake, just hear me out!
The Showgoer’s Guide to Phone Etiquette
How Did I Get Here?
First thing’s first, no noodling around on your phone at the front of a venue. Whether a big turnout or awkward basement show, it simply doesn’t make sense to fill a space regarded for the most engaged fans, to then disrespect a band or artist by ignoring them completely. If you want to be on your phone all night, head to the back of the venue. I even heard there’s free Wifi outside.
The Bigger, the Better. Or Worse.
iPad use at shows is an issue I’ve experienced at bigger venues, like Neil Young’s stop at the Wang last November. Think stoner moms and dads with a $9 glass of wine in one hand, shakily glowing tablet in the other. Let a generational gap be an excuse for their folly. Let anyone under 30 who uses their E-Reader while Belle and Sebastian play to be struck down by a single bolt of lightening.
Wallflower, Wallflower
Going to a concert alone can be tough. Wanting to seem like you’re too busy answering emails between sets to mingle doesn’t make you a terrible person, but it does make you a little boring. If you’re at a show alone and don’t want the downtime between bands to feel like solo-loitering outside the gates of Hell, have a beer or two. You’ll be more at ease with yourself and your peers, and maybe even enjoy the music a bit more. Don’t drink? Have a glass of water. You’ll be hydrated and glowing, and everyone will want to be your friend.
Camera Obscura
There are actually people who make a living documenting concerts! Boston has no shortage of these freakishly talented people—take Ben Stas and Leah Corbett as two excellent examples of show photography. Look at Louis Roe’s unique way of capturing music moments, or the AP video teams’ near perfect use of concert stock.
Yes, there are people that go to concerts exclusively to record the bands we worship. And they’re very good at what they do. Which is all the more reason for you to relax and take in the music exactly as it unfolds. Their work will be online in a day or two. That’s right, the perfect thing to distract yourself with on Monday morning, as you sit at work with a cup of coffee and wonder when your coworkers will finally realize you’re a fraud.
Be the Chuck Norris You Wish to See at the Show
You want to post about the show because:
- This genre is totally part of your brand
- FOMO, or whatever
- “The demand to be loved [on social media] is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions.”
—Nietzsche
If you’re going to use your phone at a gig, be efficient. First, take a moment to think about what you want to share with your followers. With Twitter, it’s like thinking before you speak, but instead of offering wise words to a friend you’re sharing 140 well-crafted characters with a bunch of people you’d avoid in person. When it comes to Instagram, just find a good angle and press that button a few times. It’s a win-win. Online, you’ll have solid content. In the real world, you’ll spend less time fiddling with your phone and other people’s sanity.
#Endrant
Things get a little depressing when you think about our attachment to technology. How many times have you ignored a friend in person to answer Group Chat? When was the last time you went on an adventure—getting in the car and just going—without Google Maps? Have you ever felt like garbage after something you wrote for the internet fell flat? In that case, remember, the writer is so much cooler in person.
Taking a step back from your iPhone, iPad or whatever robot Samsung’s cooked up shouldn’t be a show-specific goal. We’d all be better off if we spent less time FaceTiming, and more time face-to-face with the people and things we truly care about. From concerts to socializing, or even just quality time with a good book, being fully present is a skill to master in any situation. And it’s never too late to start practicing. So, if you’re reading this at a show, please. Put your phone away.