THE GREATEST BOSTON BAND YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF: WLLMSBRG

By Nick Canton

There’s a lot of buzz today surrounding local upstarts WLLMSBRG. The trio, local to Allston but hailing from Allston, is described by baseman Curt Roderic as “punk/rock.”

Founded in early April of 2015, the band has been toiling away to craft their own genius brand of bass music with added angles of guitar, and also drums.

“Yeah, we don’t really give a shit about this. We’re just doing it for now and planning on breaking up pretty soon,” frontman Abraham Elba expounded as he swiped right on a girl named Kendra. Her profile picture was a taco, which is cool, ironic and vaguely erotic all at once – he was clearly down to clown.

“I hate our music,” Elba continued, and with that one phrase the Pavlovian dog that is the punk scene of Allston began to salivate.

Superfan Marcus Whitaker tried to explain between tears, “people think it’s just about the music. But these guys get it—it’s 100% about having a really great Twitter presence. But before that, it’s all about the music.”


“Our influences?” Roderic said, though no question had been asked. “Nosedive 1971. Kill The Speakerphone. Corporate Businessmen, you know, bands that really formed the backbone of Boston punk. You probably only know their influences—Aerosmith, James Taylor, Donna Summer.” I nodded. “Punk is a thankless job.”

“bass music with added angles of guitar, and also drums”

Slated to play in the parking lot outside of Super 88 in Allston at “10:20ish” this morning, the local scene will never be the same. With expectations of pure chaos, people have already been calling the police to be on hand (By us. Allston Pudding maintains a tight and transparent relationship with our boys in blue). When asked how they would power their instruments, the band’s voice of reason, Shirtless Mike, just shrugged and ate a taco.

It would be his third that day. But I had a feeling it wouldn’t be his last.