So for those of you hibernating under rocks, there’s this dude who dresses up in a bear costume and plays the melody and riffs to R&B/Pop songs on a keytar.  He’s been doing it in subway stations and street corners around Boston and he’s gotten a cult following, showing up at comedy clubs and jamming with a saxophone playing sock monkey.  I thought it it’d be a pretty good idea to exploit the trend and do some #hardhitting #journalism on Boston’s new mascot.

He gave his consent.

Here’s the thing, he never got back to me.

The AP editors, however, still wanted the piece I promised them, so, since his Facebook feed is all public domain and since he gave the okay, I present you with an “interview” (Facebook-stalking session) with the bear himself.

Addressing topics like fiscal responsibility

The burdens of chivalry

Our 21st-Century dependence on material goods

Finding love

Losing love

Statistics

The great mysteries of planet Earth

This

Nightmares

The weather/procreation

Public Transportation

And why he never did my interview