I just want to preface this by saying none of this was my idea.
Look, we took a month off to recoup from our year end special, I gave my dad an Allston Pudding sweatshirt for Christmas (which you can totally buy here if you want to feel comfortable forever), and he came back from the break with an ultimatum.
“I want to pick the song for our first column back and interview you or I’m out,” he said on a throne made entirely of pudding cups in our basement.
“Did you buy all the Snack Packs in the tri-county area just to pull this off?”, I asked. “It doesn’t matter… no one is going to believe this exchange ever happened.”
“I want to play you some Mr. Mister,” he said.
“That is literally one of the stupidest names I have ever heard and I lived through 311 and brokenCYDE,” I said. At the same time, the pudding cup throne was so overpoweringly dope and I put my dad through enough young person music he didn’t understand in 2015, so I caved.
Honestly, all you need to know about Mr. Mister is that they did that “Broken Wings” song, this photo exists, and I have absolutely no idea what prompted it. Enjoy. Maybe. Probably not.
#16 – Mr. Mister – “Kyrie”
Tim: Okay, do I have to play the “dad” role here? Do I have to talk about melody the whole time?
Dad: [laughs] You jerk. Yeah, I’m asking the questions this time and, since I always critique your music, you get to critique mine.
Tim: You’re gonna regret this.
Dad: I’m going to be honest: if you asked me for a great 1980s song, I’m not sure this would have made my top 5. All I did was look up the top rock song this week in 1986 and this was it. Have you heard Mr. Mister before?
Tim: I actually had to listen to this song once through before it became sort of familiar, so sort of.
Dad: Okay, fair. I listened to it a few times and watched the video though when I realized, “Holy cow, this is, like, a perfect song to represent the 1980s.” But before I go into that, I wanna hear your impression of the song itself.
Tim: My immediate reaction was this sounds like a Toto ripoff. Like, some “Africa” or “Rosanna”-level shit in this chorus. The first few times I heard it, I was like, “Hmm, Kyrie, must be another ‘80s song about a woman,” but then I looked up the lyrics a bit and “kyrie eleison” is apparently a Greek biblical phrase that means “Lord, have mercy.” Did you know that?
Dad: Yeah, I looked the lyrics up too. I didn’t know… the song is essentially a prayer! I couldn’t believe it; I was shocked.
Tim: This is the most anti-‘80s rock thing I’ve ever heard. He’s talking about wanting to grow old, follow some clear life path, and there’s zero Satan worshipping.
Is this, like, subliminal Christian rock?
Dad: [laughs] Yeah, these guys were, like, Christian rock pioneers, I’m guessing. Like, all these lyrics about an “old heart”, “the soul and the soft machine”… actually, what’s a soft machine? Wait, I’m not sure if I wanna go there.
Tim: Woof. It just sounds like bad 6th grade poetry. Like, when you have to write a poem for a class assignment and you’re forcing it. I’ll give it to them though: the lyrics weren’t a home run, but it’s catchy. That key change towards the end kinda did it for me.
Dad: Yeah, it’s classic arena rock for sure. I took notes too and I noticed listening to it now that it had all the typical elements of an ‘80s rock song: those synthesizer layers with the “doot-doot-dee-doo” that sounds like Beverly Hills Cop, gregorian chants in the middle with the “ohh ohh ohh’s”, and the big arena chorus. That was the thing with ‘80s rock like Bon Jovi and Van Halen: they were made for being drunk or high in an arena.
Tim: Oh yeah, especially with all of that goofy ass clapping. It’s just so nerdy, like if you presented me all of the elements of the prototypical ‘80s synth rock anthem, this is what you’d get. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear this at some sports game or arena, but I wouldn’t be real upset to hear it either.
Dad: So not a very deep song in your book, huh?
Tim: No no no, the singer seemed like he was going for depth with this song. If anything, I think he took himself a little too seriously.
Dad: But you gotta admit, the guy could hold a tune. I mean, he was screaming and he still held it.
Tim: He definitely carried it to anthem status, but man, he’s like the number one offender of trying to be Bono or Sting’s lovechild here. Like, he’s non-stop brooding in the video, strumming and looking off all pissed off, which is kind of silly considering they were playing in an empty arena.
Dad: Yeah, what is it with ‘80s bands playing in empty arenas in their music videos? I noticed that when we reviewed the Van Halen video…
Tim: Oh man, I was going to ask you the same thing! I mean, I know live videos are probably harder to film, but seriously, put in the effort!
Dad: It just seemed so typical back then watching MTV, but it’s so fake. Like, what is real, guys? Did we really go to the moon?
Tim: [Laughs] Hella deep. And the singer’s doing all of David Lee Roth’s spins and high kicks too! What’s with every ‘80s band doing high kicks?
Dad: Hmm, I noticed the kicks, but not the spins. They did that?
Tim: Yeah, the singer pulls away with his bass and starts twirling around at one part. I feel like I’d screw up my bass parts if I kept spinning like that.
Dad: True. And I don’t get why we wore tight blue jeans and white sneakers back then.
Tim: That look is still popular today. It’s either always been around or is coming back, but that’s a fashionable look.
Dad: You’re kidding me. Yeah, that look and those super long jackets were real popular in so many ‘80s videos. Like that one with Ricky Sanboro, uh, Santora?
Tim: Rick Santorum? Like, the shitty politician?
Dad: Yeah, he just dropped out! I meant the guy from Bon Jovi…
Tim: If we’re doing call outs, can I call out the keyboardist? His jacket is, like, right before they went on the empty stage, they pulled that dude from his other job as a movie projectionist. That is the goofiest red jacket and he’s passionately clapping, even though it’s coming from the synthesizer. He’s not even using his instrument.
Dad: What about the guitarist and his mullet?
Tim: Oh yeah, that was bad too. It looked like Mom’s haircut back then.
Dad: Yep, that looked like Mom on stage.
Tim: I think the drummer was the only one who looked like he could be in a cooler band than that hair-style wise. Like, he was too cool for them.
Dad: Yeah, he had that strand of hair in his face and looked all pissed off.
Tim: Exactly! Last note on the video though: what was the timeline of events in that video? Like, they were on the beach, empty stage, on a pier with a drunk accordion guy, in a limo, at a radio press thing, pushing the limo, back on stage… Was that the life of Mr. Mister?
Dad: I looked that up actually! They filmed that while opening for Tina Turner, so it was filmed in Florida and was probably them doing ordinary things on tour.
Tim: Dang, they played with Tina Turner? Good for them. I don’t know, it’s a catchy song, but it just epitomizes the ‘80s too much. They just seem like a very dramatic, brooding group of dudes with parts of this video and “Broken Wings”.
Dad: Alright then, on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being “oh my god, what a great song!” and 10 being “oh man, my ears are bleeding”, what are you going with?
Tim: Oooh, that’s different. I was expecting you to make me rate it between “Mac Demarco”, “bar song”, or “beach song”.
Dad: It’s a broader range here. I want you to really define your distaste or like.
Tim: It’s gonna be a 5.5 for me. Honestly, it would depend on where I heard this. If I was a little drunk at a sporting event and this came on, I’d bob along and like it. But some parts of it are so overwhelmingly cheesy and ‘80s that shows its age. It represents the ‘80s and that’s its job at this point.
Dad: So would any Allston band cover these guys?
Tim: [Laughs] Oh man, I can’t picture anyone in the Allston scene covering this, but I do think a lot of people give ‘80s music shit when, in fact, I see some influences carrying through today. So yes, while I think this may be a bit on the cheesy side of things, I think ‘80s bands with synthesizers weren’t so bad.
Dad: Hmm, yeah. Agreed.
Tim: But yeah, I’m just pandering to you and any other Baby Boomer readers we’ve gained now…